Unbound Episode fifty-five- Drunkman’s Christmas™

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Recorded in March, this episode tells a story of how I crumbled slightly under lockdown.

I began to feel strangely optimistic by the turn of the year, but like the rest of the world, crushed between my surroundings. I decided to take a look at the things I always wanted to do, and really think about why I never did them before. There are some things that fall by the wayside when you really take the time to study them; they’re no longer worth the monetary or physical cost. One that straddles the two, is the Drunkman’s Christmas™, where, unfortunately, pure stubbornness won out to common sense, as it most often does.

The premise is to get as drunk as physically and comfortably possible, order as much as you like over the internet, and delete the emails, thereby giving yourself a complete and utter surprise when it arrives. It’s a simple but endearing prospect; as who doesn’t love surprises? Therefore, it’s pretty imperative that you go for weird. The stranger and more confusing the object is, the more surprising the pay-off is. After all, it would be a little underwhelming if you went through this potentially-arduous task and only got that plate-set you always thought would tie the kitchen together. If you’re going to do something as potentially-stupid as this, go for broke. At least, that is what I tried.

This night was a sobering reminder of the kind of gentrified hell-scape we are living in. One of the reasons I was up so late (also due to equipment malfunctions, as you will clearly see in the video) was that it is almost impossible to find actual, personal art on Ebay or Etsy, as their search algorithms are by default always going to lead you straight to the most popular sellers, which is almost always generic, mass-produced prints and pop-culture references. I was looking for something real, something that was created by another person for the sole-purpose of being art, not manufacturing money, and let me tell you; it was really difficult.

It was an evening that had an element of fun to it, of course there were bangin’ tunes and plenty of booze, but it was always destined to be a night I should have enjoyed with friends, not my reluctant family. I tried too hard to make something of that evening, as I really, genuinely wanted to do it before there was a time when I couldn’t. The only redeeming quality of that to me, truly, is that I filmed it, and was at least able to make something fun out of my futile exploits.

Many episodes of Unbound do have alcohol in the background, and that is something I rue deeply, but that’s just a side of British culture. During lock-down, before this was filmed, I severely cut down my alcohol intake, and was having a fine ol’ time. This was just a one-off, and during the video, you can clearly hear me state how much I never want to get in that state again. It’s difficult for me to condone its usage with so many videos of it being present, and even a couple centred around it, but sometimes the days I feel like filming have alcohol in. I don’t mean to glorify it, they just coalesce sometimes. After all, I have countless amazing days without alcohol, I just don’t film them all the time.

I do not recommend anyone trying this game, but I know the allure of mystery and alcohol is too great for some, so make sure it’s a controlled environment, and always remember yours and your company’s enjoyment comes first.