Well, Lockdown 2 and 3 have appeared in England, and it’s a much different experience.
Of course, I’ve been lamenting heavily the fact I can’t even go and see my friends or go to a museum, let alone travel the world again, but lamentation is wasted energy.
I started making Unbound videos in the winter of 2016, and it just so happened to be about fun adventures and activities, and bringing my friends and family along for the ride. As the years went on, it’s become more of a chronicle of my life, I suppose that’s why they call it ‘vlogging’, although my videos don’t always follow that definition.
Using this website as a conduit for my writing, I’ve realised more and more the symbiosis between the stories I write, and the stories I record, and that’s why I love them so much, and that’s why I try to make any situation as an excuse to bring along my camera, often to other people’s chagrin.
More than just time-wasters and snippets into my life, they are visual memories of times that might otherwise be forgotten. Some of them are small beach trips with family, or days out with my friends, days that seemed to be quiet and just part of everyday life before lock-down. Now, they are requiems to times that I cannot recreate in the current state of the world, but I’m happy I have had the chance to relive it, even if the world stays in this status of disrepair and unrest.
It’s been a journey though, and I know those occasions in which I sometimes sit down and re-watch them all, I can plainly see the growth and change in myself and those around me. This was only ever a series I wanted to create for friends and family to see what I’ve been up to, as many of them are not in fortunate enough of positions to have these adventures, and even if they did, they would be far different experiences, because they are operating within their own perspectives, and these videos are opportunities for people to experience others, mainly, mine.
I can see the videos where I felt literally on top of the world, when I was hiking up mountains, or at my lowest, struggling with my mental health and no real support. Now that I have made strides in receiving help for the latter, I have new found perspectives, not only from the real world and the vistas I have witnessed, but mostly, in how I interact with my immediate environment, and most importantly, the people I am closest to.
I often feel a sad sense of euphoria when I re-watch my old videos, as many of them contain people who are no longer in my life, for one reason or another, and some of those reasons are solely my fault, which is a difficult pill to swallow, but a necessary one. While those events are all either directly or indirectly affected by my severe anxiety and depression, it’s important to take accountability, and say that while I probably was not in the right state of mind when I did whatever it was to warrant people no longer wishing to have me in the life, it was still me. While these videos often provide me with pure glee and a record of some of the parts of my life in the last few years, they can often deliver great pain, but that’s all a necessary part of life, as we all find out eventually.
I think this was an important video to make, as this particular one is a culmination of every place I’ve been to thus far, combined with every video I’ve made, and a new found perspective I have on life from the past year. That perspective, is simply to make the best out of whatever is front of you. I think I’ve been lucky to be trapped with my Dad and step-mum, a situation that many people, friends and family included, have definitely envied, but I often grow weary at some of their reactions to the situations. They sometimes seem to be worried about things way out of their control or completely burying their head in the sand, with no visible in-between. I feel like I’ve been trying to raise their spirits a lot, by implementing fun challenges and games, and although it’s obviously not their bag, they do sometimes play along, but the most common excuse I hear is;
“Yeah, but this would be more fun with more people.”
I mean, no shit? Do you really think that I think that you think this is your first choice of fun on a Saturday night? Well, it isn’t mine either, but the way I see things, is that if we’re going to be confined into a house together, we might as well use it for living.
Of course, I’m not always pressurising them into complying with any idiotic activity I have, I just feel that there is more to life than going to work, eating, then falling asleep watching a movie every night, even if my dad absolutely does not agree.
There’s beauty to be found everywhere in the small corners of life, and I just think that’s what is worth celebrating. I love having a beer in the bath, and I only cook if I can dance, for those are the moments that bring me peace. When I can, I’ll celebrate the crazy adventures and wasting time with my friends, and I’ll make sure I treasure the moments together that they dismiss as insignificant, because that’s what life is to me.
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